“Yo mama so fa—”
“Watch it, Dad.”
“—ntastic”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Maybe?”
“No!”
The map’s legend no longer showed uncharted lands.
The monster applied first aid to his victim.
The chef banished all cooks from her kitchen.
The closet monster terrified all the under-the-bed monsters.
The last thing she heard: his distress call.
Somehow the violent and the compassionate served together.
He loved them even if they were wrong.
They succeeded in hate because he remained silent.
“Then the dish ran away with the fork.”
The baker couldn’t bake twenty-four blackbirds into anything.
“Some people like money.”
“Some people prefer living. “
The machine performed even better after his “accident”
The foreigners wanted him to betray his planet.
“…insignificant compared to the power of the farts.”
“I’ve fallen… in love… with… your mother.”
“Dad!”
“Oh, yeah? Well your mom!”
“We’re siblings, doofus.”
“I shall be henceforth known as Pudgy Fred!”
Major Ronald “Burger King” Sanders missed his calling.