“Doctor, it hurts when-” *punch* “-you do that.”
Author: John Rhea
Zombhard run last news paper of apocalypse
“I love you!”
“Ummm… thanks. Here’s your mail.”
The angel of death brought cupcakes and tea.
The flakey author wrote eight words before he
The spaceport was on lockdown when he left.
“He kissed me!”
“‘He’ better be a dog.”
“Let me say, ‘you are beautiful!’”
“Go away.”
“What’ve you got there?”
“Just your voodoo doll.”
His love fell like the walls of Jericho.
“Your lies are like your farts: very stinky”
His heart fell away when she left him.
The beauty slept on despite his princely kiss.
He counted sheep until the work was done.
The fish academy wouldn’t accept his backwater school.
The unicorn stabbed the faux-virgin through his heart.
“Your father’s a sexy man.”
“…Thanks…Aunt Sonia.”
He fleeced lunch ladies out of their hairnets.
“I love you!”
…
“I wish rocks could talk.”
He gerrymandered the district to elect the monster.
The monster wasn’t cute and cuddly for long.