“I want justice! Retribution! Revenge!” “I want candy.”
Genre: Comedy
“Bless me father, I have sinned a lot.”
“And POOF he was gone!” “Magician?” “No. Ex-husband.”
“You walled off my room? Real subtle, Mom.”
“Your dress is lovely.” “Your tie is… loud.”
“My head hurts…” “Solving problems with it again?”
Cold pancakes… This couldn’t possibly be my fault.
“I can’t write a joke in eight words.”
“I’m just an anonymous corporate employee—” “Hi, Sarah!”
The children screamed loudly and often, with delight.
He could not understand her at all, ever.
“You look stressed out.” “Thanks… that totally helped.”
“Your Dad’s an alien?” “Yeah. He likes vegetables.”
“…Every breath you take, I’ll be watching ewe.”
“If I could turn back tiiii-iiime, I’d—” “Stop?”
“I’m guilty!” “You couldn’t possibly be. You’re rich.”
She graded her husband’s paper with malicious glee.
He fell asleep in the meeting. Got promoted.
“You thought that was embarrassing? Get ready.” “Daaaaaaadd!!!!”
“I like big putts and I cannot—” “Daaaaaadd!!!”