Time-traveling grammar nazi couldn’t abide the future tense.
The aliens bowed to our leaders, the cats.
“Ship’s methane scrubbers can’t handle Bob.”
In space, no one can hear you fart.
“Sir$#44; aliens’ll only talk to Snooki or J-woww.”
“The aliens think our landfills are sentient lifeforms.”
The aliens landed in New Jersey, then left.
“When I was your age, snowflakes were unique!”
The remaining trees whispered of the lumberjack’s betrayal.
Even the goldfish knew he was a duplicate.
The fireflies’ mutiny was unforeseen and lightning fast.
Chester A. Arthur battled zombies to the end.
“One zombie. Two zombie. Three- Ouch, no biting!”
At the robot’s annual singles mixer, sparks flew.
Missing Remotes? Change? Couch’s revenge for your farts…
The vengeful couch swallowed him with the remote.
The chicken smiled and said, “You’re not crazy.”
He awoke in a land of slumbering zombies.
She took the wrong pill… A second time.
He devoured her soul seasoned with mundane minutiae.