“People’ve always stayed six feet away from me.”
His grandfather was spaced for his terrible farts.
“Nonsense! I started this zombie apocalypse completely intentionally!”
“My zombies don’t tell me what to do!”
“The apocalypse increased people’s tolerance for my smell.”
He played hopscotch with the zombies of Scotland.
“I cannot find a zombie who’ll love me.”
“Life happens,” said the rather well toasted amoeba.
He grew a beard during his “time travel.”
“Can I time travel to after this conversation?”
“Heroes don’t always wear capes… or mom’s spandex.”
“Feed a virus, right?” He guacamoled his laptop.
Ninja aliens invaded after his eighth birthday wish.
He offered seven apologies for ten million transgressions.
Monsters lurked everywhere inside her room and heart.
Closet monster battled Under-the-bed monster for her fear.
Ironically on Halloween he stopped wearing a mask.
His comedy club beat the fun into them.
The psychiatrist made his son really sad… experimentally.
“You are so beautiful, my darling pepperoni pizza.”