“Behold the portal of wisdom!”
“That’s your phone.”
Genre: Comedy
“If you call her, I’ll leave you.”
“Goodbye.”
He shot for the moon, landed next door.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
“These cookies are the worst!”
“They’re dog biscuits.”
He diagnosed the hooting owl with recurring amnesia.
The dentist filled a cavity in her heart.
“…apocalyptic aftermath.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“You’re weird.”
“True.”
He made friends with all his other personalities.
She didn’t “like” his post. He wept bitterly.
“Any landing you can walk away from—” BOOOOM!
“Hellloooo, Dali!”
“Every time we’re at the museum?!?”
The snowman quit smoking to avoid Meltings Disease.
The elderly man cried for his lost mommy.
“Aloha, mon ami! Se Habla Deutch?”
“Goodbye, Ted.”
The wild wildebeest bewildered the other wild beasts.
“Pirate vs. Ninja. Who’d win?”
“Pirates be awesomer.”
“Most people stop shaving in winter.”
“I’m countercultural.”
“Your English accent stinks.”
“I’m Australian, dumb American.”
“Sherlock Holmes’s a fake!”
“Calm down Mr. Moriarty.”