Spaceman fired his afterburners to avoid the bath.
Genre: Comedy
“You smell funny.”
“Well, you don’t taste comedy.”
At Mars he remembered the stove was on.
“I won’t cover for you this time, Mom”
“Medicine” was how he described his comedic addiction.
She backflipped into the man she’d later divorce.
Her beauty definitively destroyed his sense of reason.
“I couldn’t wait to see him …in court.”
“Mom, why did Dad text you ‘peach eggplant’?”
“It’s heinous, but you can’t sue for ghosting.”
He drank away his inheritance in cream soda.
He ate some mushrooms and felt absolutely nothing.
“You’re such a Joker.”
“Well you’re a Two-face.”
“You’re a Batman villain: you never go away.”
“You lonely?”
“Only because you’re here.”
“You’re sweet…”
“You’re alone.”
“Only when I’m with you, Jamie.”
“Hello, creepy clown!”
“Hello, hurtful crowd of onlookers.”
“Yeah? I’m a quintuple Agent!”
“I said ‘quadriplegic.’”
The emoji lived out his life as __
My Mom’s the only one who’s swiped right.