“Mom, why did Dad text you ‘peach eggplant’?”
Genre: Comedy
“It’s heinous, but you can’t sue for ghosting.”
He drank away his inheritance in cream soda.
He ate some mushrooms and felt absolutely nothing.
“You’re such a Joker.”
“Well you’re a Two-face.”
“You’re a Batman villain: you never go away.”
“You lonely?”
“Only because you’re here.”
“You’re sweet…”
“You’re alone.”
“Only when I’m with you, Jamie.”
“Hello, creepy clown!”
“Hello, hurtful crowd of onlookers.”
“Yeah? I’m a quintuple Agent!”
“I said ‘quadriplegic.’”
The emoji lived out his life as __
My Mom’s the only one who’s swiped right.
He apple frittered his wealth away on donuts.
The contagion turned them into moaning, soulless politicians.
He shared intimate details with the PA system.
The championship team lost to the playground team.
The crab’s spaceship landed in ye olde bay.
“I love you more than marmalade!”
“Thanks… Toast…”
“To have loved and lost is—”
“Really sucky.”
She sang like a bird… a dying bird…