“It was just puppy love, not owner love.”
He gassed up with fruit, dairy, and beans.
He longed to be a parent. She didn’t.
“I want to apologize for the fake murder…”
His chair couldn’t hold the weight of regret.
“I want justice! Retribution! Revenge!” “I want candy.”
“Bless me father, I have sinned a lot.”
“And POOF he was gone!” “Magician?” “No. Ex-husband.”
“You walled off my room? Real subtle, Mom.”
“Your dress is lovely.” “Your tie is… loud.”
“My head hurts…” “Solving problems with it again?”
Cold pancakes… This couldn’t possibly be my fault.
He fainted at the sight of her blood.
“I can’t write a joke in eight words.”
His grand vision failed him at just sixty-five.
“I’m just an anonymous corporate employee—” “Hi, Sarah!”
Someone knew it wasn’t right, but said nothing.
The children screamed loudly and often, with delight.
He could not understand her at all, ever.
“You look stressed out.” “Thanks… that totally helped.”